Repost: Can You Change Someone's Mind About Wellness?
Q&A: Talking to wellness devotees, PLUS: whether you feel better on a European vacation because of the food.
It’s Q&A time! You can ask your own question here for a chance to have it answered in an upcoming edition.
The first question is available to all subscribers (about how to respond to people who are caught up in wellness culture), and the second one is for paid subscribers (about why people often say they feel better when traveling in European countries, and whether it has anything to do with differences in the food).
Talking to Wellness Devotees
How do you respond to people who are clearly deeply entrenched in diet and wellness culture but argue that it doesn’t interfere with their health or their lives? I feel like this is still problematic as it perpetuates the culture and upholds problematic standards that can detrimentally affect others.
This question makes me think of a time in 2006, when I was in a deeply disordered relationship with food and wrote a blog post about orthorexia. I defined the disorder as “a fixation on healthy eating that takes over one’s life,” and summarized a report on orthorexia from The Guardian that said “we are living in a uniquely orthorexic moment” in which food-safety scares, conflicting health advice, and the prevalence of organic food trigger mass anxiety about food choices.
At the time, I myself was experiencing a fixation on healthy eating that had taken over my life. I was that person who was deeply entrenched in diet and wellness culture—but I didn’t have the slightest inkling that it was negatively impacting my well-being (which it absolutely was). No one could convince me that my “real-food” diet was the reason for my many unexplained health problems. Unfortunately, my position as a writer and editor for food and health magazines also allowed me to proselytize my orthorexic beliefs to many other people.
Eighteen years later, I’ve published two books about the ways diet and wellness culture detract from our true well-being. I now see very clearly how I was caught in their traps, and how it was harming me.
So I can say from both sides of this divide that people can change—and that it doesn’t usually happen because of one conversation, or one person saying the exact “right” thing. Instead, people often change because someone in their lives consistently shows up for them with curiosity, empathy, and respect, even if they disagree.
Depending on your relationship with the person, you could ask them why their diet and wellness practices are appealing to them, and really listen to the answer. Try to hold whatever they say with compassion; people are often drawn to wellness culture because something isn’t working for them in the conventional healthcare system, and feeling attacked for their wellness routines might only make them feel more ostracized. I talked about this recently with
in her episode of the podcast.
In some cases you might feel compelled to make a comment if a person won’t stop preaching about how great their diet or supplement regimen is, but it’s often helpful to keep those comments focused on yourself as much as possible: “In my experience, diets have actually made my digestion worse,” “I can’t take supplements because they could interact with my medication,” “restricting my eating like that always makes me binge in the long run,” etc.
Sometimes it’s best for everyone to set a firm boundary and ask them not to talk about their diet and wellness practices around you. That’s especially true if you’re in recovery from disordered eating, or if the person is making body- or food-shaming comments in front of your kids. Setting that boundary can help your mental health, and it also potentially could inspire the person to rethink some of their behaviors. That was the case for past podcast guest
of , as she shared in this episode.
But people may not change anytime soon (or ever), and you might just have to agree to disagree. I don’t know anyone who’s changed their minds about deeply entrenched diet and wellness-culture beliefs because someone harangued them; usually that just makes people dig in further. Treating them with respect and keeping the channels of communication open (even if you have to set a boundary on certain topics for a while) gives you the best chance of making some headway.
Thanks so much for the great question, and thanks to all the free subscribers for reading! Paid subscribers can stick around for the bonus Q&A, and everyone can ask their own questions for a chance to have them answered in an upcoming newsletter.
European Vacations
When I visit England and France, I find that I am not consumed with thoughts about food like I am when I am home in the U.S. Is this rooted in diet culture, or do these European countries truly encompass more legitimate wellness (i.e. less processed foods, less plastic, etc.)?