It’s Q&A time! You can ask your own question here for a chance to have it answered in an upcoming edition.
Hi Christy! Long time listener, first time caller here. I found your podcast and Substack to be one of the most helpful resources in my eating disorder recovery journey. I did a partial hospitalization program last winter and I’m about a year and a half out.
My parents have always been a big influence on my behaviors and negative body image due to their own lifelong negative self-talk, body-image issues, anti-fat biases, and food guilt. When I was in the program, my family made leaps and bounds with their language, and my dad even listened to a few episodes of your podcast.
Now that it’s been a bit, my body has changed a lot, and my food choices are significantly less restrictive than theirs. I’ve noticed their language has changed from diet talk to “wellness” talk—constantly making sure I’m still “taking care of myself,” which sometimes feels coded.
My mom in particular is going through some intense menopause symptoms, so she is reading/listening to a lot of information from the internet about holistic healing while also exploring hormone replacement therapy, which is perfectly fine with me. I want her to learn as much as she can to keep her symptoms at bay.
However, some of the books she talks about are intensely restrictive. I know my mom has always struggled with restriction (for example, she breaks up food into small pieces, frequently skips meals, and she probably hasn’t eaten gluten in 5 years, even after her doctor confirmed no celiac diagnosis). I am desperately trying to end the ED cycle with me, and I usually can set good boundaries around weight-loss-related topics. However, now that the restrictive food conversation has turned from weight loss to Alzheimer’s prevention, menopause, and longevity, it’s like she has a free pass to steamroll the eating-disorder-sensitive language since I can’t possibly understand what she’s going through with menopause.
Let me be clear, I have nothing but care and empathy for the symptoms my mom is dealing with, but I also can’t help but believe some of the symptoms might be related to or exacerbated by her food restriction and anxiety.
Do you have any advice or resources on weight-inclusive approaches to menopause? And do you have tips for revisiting boundaries when the language changes from weight to “wellness”?
